Let’s not kid ourselves here: If you’ve got kids in the house, you know full well you’re getting woken up early on Christmas morning. Like, really early. The “so, this is what 5 a.m. looks like” kind of early. And we all know there’s a good chance you “accidentally” drank a few glassfuls of the spiked eggnog instead of the regular kind the night before. So, do yourself a favor, and make the big present-opening extravaganza a little bit easier and arm yourself with the following:
1. All of the coffee. All of it.
While Santa runs on milk and cookies, you need something a little bit stronger. If you belong to one of the two households in America that is kicking it old school and resisting a Keurig machine, do yourself a favor and at least set up the grounds the night before so you can brew up some java as soon as the little ones pry you from your warm, cozy bed in an excited frenzy. Let’s face it: You’re gonna need the extra boost to keep your energy up through the madness that is this day. Don’t let the joy of family come at the cost of your sanity. Caffeine helps, trust.
And no matter what kind of bean or K-cup tickles your fancy, be sure to make it extra sweet and full of holiday cheer with these special edition Coffee-mate creamers. Yum.
2. Somewhere to put all of the torn apart wrapping paper you spent hours making look pretty.
You know when you beg your SO to get the kids out of the house for a few hours so you can
open a bottle of wine spend some alone time wrapping up all of the presents? And there you sit, working tirelessly to make them look great? Tying picture-perfect ribbons, searching for gift tags that perfectly match the paper, and probably suffering through paper cuts on every finger along the way? They look so amazing under the tree… for about five seconds.
The endless streams of wrapping paper and tape and glitter and ribbons and bows will end up stuck to your carpet or in the dog’s mouth, so just please arm yourself with some epic Force Flex. These bags have tons of stretch and can fit a lot of wrapping paper. I’d also recommend letting the kiddos get through maybe half of their gifts before taking a break to collectively get rid of all the trash into one (read: 10) of these.
3. This miraculous device
Product packaging is pretty much just a tangible element of the Dark Arts. There are few things more infuriating than trying to get toys out of their cardboard and plastic houses. Countless knots of twist-ties sit there silently mocking us, taunting us, making me feel like we aren’t, in fact, smarter than the machine. There are hopeless strips of extra-strong tape and globs of melted glue. Sometimes, there are even screws holding the toy in place with extra cardboard wedged in between—because, like, why? These devilish packaging techniques make us all feel like there are evil sadists heading up these toy companies, but nothing—nothing—is worse than those air-tight plastic packages. SERIOUSLY! Why do they do this to us?
But it’s OK, I promise. Because this glorious device exists. The Open Smart Plastic Packaging Opener lets you make one easy slice right through the packaging. One swift motion and it’s over. The toy is free. Your kid is happy. You’re not crying. Everybody wins. This thing is so magical and requires so little effort, I swear Dumbledore’s behind it.
4. These life-giving angels
Nothing ruins Christmas morning quite like the words “batteries not included.” And more often than not, toys don’t come with batteries—at least not ones that will last. Getting caught without batteries makes that special toy your kid has been begging for—you know, the one that left an enormous dent in your credit card—a useless piece of plastic. Don’t be that guy.
Typically, an arsenal of AA and AAA batteries will be enough to power up the toys under the tree, but it’s good to have a few Ds and Cs on hand as well. Energizer’s new Eco Advanced batteries are made with 4 percent recycled batteries, and they hold power for up to 12 years in storage. These batteries have some serious power, with four performance boosting energy rings (whatever that means). Store some of these aside (Heck, you can even put them in your own stocking!) to make sure your Christmas morning is full of lights, sounds, and action that doesn’t include crying and disappointment.
5. This teeny, tiny lifesaver
Sometimes, kids’ new favorite toy is also the smallest thing you’ve ever seen in your life—and somehow, you’ve got to get the batteries inside the darn thing. Once you dig through layers of fur, tooling, or Velcro to find the battery compartment, you’re met with the world’s smallest screw with which none of your screwdrivers will work.
Cue the Toydriver: the small screw specialist. This mini power screwdriver takes all of the hassle out of battery changing, in a way that will ensure your screws don’t get stripped, your toy doesn’t break, and Christmas isn’t ruined. No more digging through junk drawers in search of a tiny screwdriver that you think might be in there somewhere, maybe. Put on your cape, because with the Toydriver, you’ll be a Christmas hero.
6. Gigs on gigs on gigs
It’s 2015 (for a little while longer!) and I’m pretty sure the days of the video camera are dead, thanks to the handy little jack-of-all-trades iPhones we tote around in our pockets everyday. But, it’s important to still capture all of the magical moments Christmas morning has to offer. (Do it for the Insta, ya know?)
Photos and videos take up an enormous amount of storage space on iPhones, so do yourself a favor and move all of the field day and summer vacation pix off your phone to make room for the Christmas magic (and then immediately move them to the Cloud or never download another app again).
Good luck out there.