Step aside, Home Depot gift card, we know what dads really want this Father’s Day (spoiler alert: toys and booze).
These giant inflatable balls
Bright Lights BBOPs, from Hearthsong, are giant inflatable suits that measure 36 inches in diameter. Kids and adults can easily fit inside, and they can bump against each other sumo-style, bounce on the ground, and roll around. Life in a plastic bubble has never looked so good.
This liquid gold
Six packs are overrated. Jack Daniels is child’s play. Lagavulin is an elegant spirit sure to please the pallet of any seasoned scotch drinker. It’s aged 16 years, it’s got notes of sea salt and wood, and it’s imported from Scotland. If it’s good enough for Ron Swanson, it’s good enough for your dad.
To put in this flask
The Stanley Classic Flask is worthy of even the finest spirits. It’s made with tasteless, odor-free stainless steel, leaving nothing behind in case dad decides to change up his flavor of the month. Perfect for camping trips (dads do that, right?) or surviving three-hour dance recitals, this slim and leak-proof flask is a must-have.
Tickets to this exact Mets game
Obviously, this one is for my New York Dads. It’s also for those dads who don’t care about winning things (#yankeesfan). Keep the Father’s Day spirit alive for an entire week and get pops a pair of tickets to the Mets game on June 27, where after the players hopefully scratch out a victory against the Reds, Steve Miller Band will take to the field. Steve. Miller. Band. Name one thing more “dad” than Steve Miller Band (and DON’T say Journey!). Grab a sausage and peppers sandwich, a frothy beer, and rock out to faves like “Take the Money and Run,” “Fly Like an Eagle,” and “The Joker.”
This speaker
As we’ve just established, dads love to rock out—no matter how old they are. The Pill is overrated, and the UE Mini Boom from Logitech provides big sound from just a tiny little lightweight speaker. The rechargeable battery lasts up to 10 hours of playtime, and it streams music up to 50 feet away. Personal favorite: The Bluetooth connectivity is easy with just one simple button push—perfect for dads who aren’t super tech-savvy.
This ego booster
Let’s be real—Dad may have been a heavy hitter in high school, but that was many moons—and cheeseburgers—ago. The Crush It! bat, from Tucker Toys, helps any dad relive his glory days and hit ball after ball right out of the park. The high-tension strings make the ball soar on contact, providing way more power than an average Wiffle ball bat. This is perfect for any dad suffering from #dadbod and in need of an ego boost.
This gut buster
Got a dad who is desperate to get healthy? Or, maybe one who just wants it to look that way? The Nutribullet is great for making healthy smoothies—you know, with stuff like kale, spinach, ginger, and lemon. But the good news is, it’s also pretty fantastic for chocolate peanut butter milkshakes. Everybody wins.
This super game
For dads who love all things superhero, sci-fi, and fantasy, I give you Superfight: The Card Game. Each player draws three character cards and three power/problem cards to attempt to make the ultimate fighter. Will George W. Bush with super speed win against the Hulk who sends cats to do his bidding? Each player must convince the other players why his or her fighter reigns supreme. Just to recap: This is a game in which you argue about made-up superheroes. Happy Father’s Day.
This Super Soaker
The Nerf Super Soaker Floodfire Blaster is designed for kids ages 6 and up—but let’s be real, there’s a manchild in every dad out there. Put any type of Nerf blaster in the hands of a grown man, and it’s like nothing else in the world exists—except of course whoever he decides to use as a target. The all-new Floodfire Blaster holds 43 ounces of water and fires up to 38 feet—but, that’s just the beginning. It also connects directly to a hose for UNLIMITED soaking power. Yes, you read that right. You will literally never run out of water. It’s like dad’s dream, and every child’s worst nightmare.
And, finally, this tinker toy
Dads think they can fix, build, and MacGyver absolutely anything. And for the most part (thank God), they can. But why wait for something to go wrong to show off all of those innovative skills? MaKey MaKey is a little circuit kit that will let dad tinker and create anything his vivid imagination can think of—all while probably driving mom insane (yay!). With this series of wires and clips, dad can transform a set of stairs into a piano, or use fruit to control his favorite video games—the mischievous possibilities are endless. Happy bonding.
